“Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does.
So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's
when you find out who you are." - Joss Whedon

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Story of the Heart Matters - Lifebooks for Adopted Children

I attended a GREAT Webinar online today that was offered by Bethany Christian Services.  I love learning about adoption from a variety of persepectices and I was super curious what this free seminar was going to be like.

I was very pleasantly surprised. The presenters were the anthers from the book "Before You Were Mine" Susan Tebos and Carissa Woodwyk.  In this book (and in the Webinar) they help "adoptive parents learn about their child's life prior to adoption and to create a lifebook from a faith perspective that will allow parents to share it with their child at an appropriate time. It walks the reader through not only how to create a lifebook, but why it matters in the life of the child."

I even learned that Bethany has an online store with a variety of items available including this book. I have not read the book, but I LOVE the idea of creating a lifebook for my son and have been wanting some ideas to get me started.  As a result, I found their presentation very helpful. 

Just to share one idea they offered in their presentation.... they suggested going online and looking up "character trait words." I found 2 great lists here and here, but there seem to be many.  Then start working on your child's lifebook by doing an exercise similar to a writing brainstorm where you write your child's birthmother's name on a piece of paper and begin adding traits that you consider applicable to her.  Beginning with "who she was",  "how I see her" and then "how God sees her".  Below is an image of part of my quick draft created during the webinar.  It was a fun idea and helped me think of new ways to teach my son about his birthmother even though we know very little about her. They report that they have several worksheets and ideas like this one in their book, "Before You Were Mine" so you may want to check it out in the Bethany Store.

Have you created a lifebook for your child?  What did you include and how has it been helpful in communicating with your child regarding their relinquishment, birth family and adoption story??

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