“Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does.
So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's
when you find out who you are." - Joss Whedon

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Book Review: A Love Like No Other

A Love Like No Other
by Pamela Kruger (Editor), Jill Smolowe (Editor)

For those of us waiting, wishing, longing, there is something soothing and reassuring about hearing and reading the experiences of families whose wait is over. We long to hear that the miracle that we continually hope and pray for will come to pass. It strengthens our faith, reassures us that the Lord is listening, and lengthens our patience.

For those of you who have all ready welcomed miracle children into your families, you may enjoy rejoicing with others who understand the road you have traveled. You may also find comfort in the acknowledgment that despite the difficulty we go through in building a family through adoption, that road does not end with a placement and finalization. Nor is the continuing road always smooth and easily traversed. In addition to the usual ups and downs of parenting, those of us who are called to adoption will have an extra dimension to our family that we are responsible to help our children navigate. The authors of these essays share their children’s reaction to being adopted and how they, as parents, responded to those reactions.

A Love Like No Other: Stories from Adoptive Parents
is a deep well of experiences that we can dip into when our own faith is diminished. It may serve well as a periodic “pick-you-up,” reading one essay at a time or you may read it as I did, obsessively over the course of two days, giving me a much needed infusion of hope and resolve.

Now, be forewarned, you may not only need a box of tissues, but you may also need an open mind. These essays are written by parents who adopted domestically and internationally, families who were joined by newborns and families who brought school age children and teens into their families, parents who honor their children’s native heritage and those who hardly acknowledge it. You may not agree with their decisions, with their philosophy, or even their way of life, but one thing is beyond discussion, these parent love their children with a fierce and binding love.

Each of us will react to each of these essays differently. We will each relate to the essayists in our own way. For me the experience of Amy Rackear in her essay “The Second Time Around” hit close to home and, although our situations are not entirely similar, her words and her story resonated with me, giving me the resolve to move forward during a difficult time in our own adoption journey.

The experiences recorded in this book are as diverse as the children we adopt. Somewhere within the pages of this book you are likely to find a family who has walked the road you are now facing, or has walked the road with you. Regardless, each of the stories will teach you something and increase your love for adoption.