Tawnia and Tara recently had the opportunity to sit down with two expectant parents who were viewing adoptive couple profiles on itsaboutlove.org. It was such a valuable experience because they “had the chance to witness firsthand what the expectant parents enjoyed and disliked.” Below are the tips they have to share:
1. Pictures are so important. They spent much more time viewing photos as opposed to reading the letter. It’s not that the letter isn’t important but the photos were very impactful and really helped give them a “sense” of the adoptive couple.
2. They really do read the photo captions. The more descriptive the caption the greater impact a photo can have.
3. They enjoyed seeing pictures of the adoptive couple’s children. I think it positively impacted them to see children having a good time. It really helps give a sense of what life would be like for their child with a particular adoptive couple.
4. Please don’t use old pictures. Part of the problem with old pictures is it really dates you. An expectant parent might see an out of style outfit and assume you are much older than you are. This is especially true with teenagers. Although 2004 may seem like just yesterday to you a 16 year old was only about 8, so to them 2004 was “when I was little.” It’s important for expectant parents to be able to relate to where you are in your life right now.
5. I know for many of you it is important to include pictures of your extended families. Some couples have several pictures of extended family on both sides. The expectant parents were not as interested in these types of pictures. They are trying to get to know you and are not quite yet interested in the extended family. You are better off using pictures that help an expectant parent get to know more about you.
6. They didn’t enjoy seeing wedding photos but really enjoyed Halloween photos. They had a great time looking at the costumes people chose. I also think this helps them get to know your personality. Do you like sci-fi, horror or silly things?
7. We have always encouraged you to give detailed answers on the getting to know us section. These particular expectant parents seemed to be more inclined to read those who gave short concise answers. So what should you do in the future? If you’re detail oriented and want to give longer answers continue to do that. If you’re a short answer type of person then give short answers. The lesson here is there is no hard and fast rule for any of this and the way you do things should be representative of who you are.
8. Pay attention to the length of your letter. Unless you are heavily invested in having a very long letter it is probably better to keep it on the shorter side (although not too short). Whenever there was a long letter they would often lose interest and either move on to the photos or move to another couple’s profile.