“Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does.
So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's
when you find out who you are." - Joss Whedon

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Very Interesting Story Regarding Embryo Adoption

This article was taken from the Maryland FSA Chapter Blog and you can link directly to the original post here.

By Holly Kristiansen

Here is Tracy and Barton Jeffs adoption story. I met them at the last FSA conference in Pennsylvania. Tracy was pregnant and announced in her introduction that they had conceived through embryo adoption. I was intrigued, so I asked them to email me their story and more information about embryo adoption.

I just wanted to preface this story by emphasizing that in the church handbook it does say that the church strongly discourages surrogacy and sperm and egg donation, but does not mention embryo adoption. Tracy and Barton did not want to do anything contrary to the teachings of the church, and talked to their stake president. His opinion was that since an embryo can technically be thought of as a "baby" he considered embryo adoption to be an adoption early in the game and not contrary to church teachings. Since it is not specifically outlined whether embryo adoption is okay, it is up to personal interpretation. This article is not meant to be controversial or offensive to anyone. I just thought it was a touching story, and another possible way for couples to find and bring home their much desired babies. It is up to the individual families to decide what is right for them.


http://www.embryoadoption.org/
A few great things about embryo adoption for those that it is right for, is that it allows the adoptive couple to be more in charge of their adoption process. It eliminates the ups and downs of waiting to be chosen and also of birth mother changing her mind during the process. It also makes it easier to breastfeed your child and also allows you to experience pregnancy.

Just for an update on the article, when Tracy and Barton wrote this, the price was around $4500 more or less for a closed adoption, and an extra $3000 for an open adoption. Bethany, who facilitates the adoption aspects found that the couples on both sides were needing advice and counsel whether the adoption was open or closed, hence the change in price.

After Tracy was pregnant they also wrote the church Presidency regarding whether a temple sealing would necessary. Their response was that the baby would be born in the covenant as if he was their own.

Chase Jeffs was born December 15th, 2009.

You can see pictures of him here...http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/openTheBox?sendevent=4d5451314e7a67324d7a4a384d7a497a4e6a4d314f44493d0d0a&sb=1

Tracy and Barton said that they would be happy to share their story with you!

Here is the story by Barton Jeffs:

For a short introduction; my wife and I are the Virginia (VA) FSA Chairman. We have a 10 year old son, who we had through artificial insemination, and we are currently pregnant with a baby boy who is due in December. This baby has come to us through embryo adoption/transfer.

We married May 1995 and had our son November 1998. From November 1998 to October 2006 we continued to grow our family, first with artificial insemination, followed by in vitro insemination, and then foster care and adoption. In July 2007 we went through a failed adoption with LDSFS. Prior to being chosen by the birth mom, we had been finding/waiting for an adoption for nine months. Following the failure we waited an additional two years to March 2009. Soon after the failed adoption, Tracy was looking through an adoption magazine and found an article/advertisement for embryo adoption/transfer. We had a difficult time deciding to try it, because we believe so much in traditional adoption. There are so many children being born to unwed mothers, who deserve a home with a mother and a father. The problem we had was that we just were not finding them and they were not finding us. Admittedly we could have been even more aggressive and proactive, but we were very involved in outreach and social networking. We did not have our profile out through the net on blogs, parentprofiles.com, etc. Unfortunately, based on our experience as the VA chairs and knowing the small numbers of actual adopted children annually, we knew that we may never adopt. Based on this fact and prayers, we decided to try embryo adoption/transfer.



http://www.nightlight.org/snowflake-embryo-adoption/
Through our search, we found two primary locations that specialize in embryo adoption/transfer. One is in TN (The National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC)) and the other is in CA (Nightlight Christian Adoptions / Snowflake). Both centers are pro-life and Christian based. NEDC's cost is $4780-$6445 and Snowflake is $12000-$16,000 (per their websites). Our total cost for everything to include medication, medical procedures, and doctor visits but not including gas and hotel stay was $4469.

Here is a description of the process we went through. First we had to go through the same type of paper work that we did to get qualified with LDSFS (profiles, medical, bio, family history, etc.). Then we provided our LDSFS home study to NEDC through the Bethany Services Adoption agency. If we didn't have our own home study, Bethany would have completed one at a small cost. Once we were approved, we went to TN for a mock transfer to validate that my wife would react properly to the medication and to verify that she could carry. That was a one day (1 hour) affair, although we chose to stay overnight in a hotel.

http://www.embryodonation.org/
Then we had to decide if we wanted an open or closed adoption/transfer. Just like traditional adoption, both options are available. With the closed option, the donating couple simply gives their embryos to NEDC through the IVF center that they used. NEDC creates a profile for each of their donating couples (attached). NEDC then sends the waiting and approved receiving couples the profiles of the donating couples that are available for the next insemination date. The receiving couples go through the profiles and try to find the couple that matches their personal desires best. The process is first come first serve, so the quicker we responded the more likely we were to get the donating couple’s embryos that we wanted. We received 31 profiles and immediately took 10 away based on nationality and skin color. We then systematically worked to find our couple. The couple we found are both two inches taller than me and Tracy, but the rest of the description matches us nearly exactly (hair color, skin tone, eye color, etc.). Our first choice only had three embryos, and NEDC preferred we went into the insemination with six embryos. So we had to choose a backup couple also. The backup couple did not match us as well, but was very close. Between the two couples, we had seven embryos.

The open adoption/transfer option is a higher cost. Bethany charges $3,000 to manage the legal paper work prior to the insemination, the correspondence after the birth, and any personal meetings. The benefits of an open adoption/transfer are the same as traditional adoption, but we wanted to save our money to try again if the first time didn't work. Likewise, after our insemination, we learned that couples who were going through the open adoption/transfer were having problems with donating couples changing their minds at the last second or not finding couples for donation because the donating couple’s requirements were too difficult. It seemed many of the open donation couples were Jewish and wanted to make sure at least one person of the receiving couples was of Jewish decent.

Once we chose our couples and embryos, our insemination date was scheduled and we were sent the medical history of our primary donating couple. The information included in the medical history is just like the paperwork we filled out on ourselves for our LDSFS profile. One other note, NEDC does inseminations every two months during the first week of the month.

When we arrived for the insemination, we were given a picture of the three embryos from our first choice couple. Their embryos were good enough that we didn’t need the second couple. They explained the quality and grade of each embryo and the likely hood of having triplets, twins, or a singleton. Of our three embryos, two were good and one was not. We were given a very low percentage chance of triplets and a good possibility of twins or singleton. We signed that we accepted the embryos in their current condition and accepted the likely hood of triplets, twins, or singleton. Once the insemination was complete (three hours) we went back to a hotel and waited 24 hours. NEDC prefers that the mother stay in a prone position and rest for 24 hours so that the embryo(s) have the best chance of taking. 12 days after the insemination we did a blood test to check likelihood of pregnancy. At six weeks we had an ultrasound, which showed that one embryo had taken. NEDC’s doctor and staff were awesome and very easy to work with.

As for the church and embryo adoption/transfer, we discussed the procedure and option with our Stake President (who also happens to be the chairman for LDSFS Advisory council in VA). His council was that the embryo is essentially a baby already created. The embryo adoption/transfer simply gave us the chance to carry, give birth to, and breast feed an “adopted” child. He also believed that embryo adoption/transfer does not apply to the recommendation in the Stake President handbook, which highly discourages using surrogates or donated eggs/sperm for insemination to get pregnant.

When it comes to law, currently an embryo adoption/transfer is only considered to be a property transfer. Thus, anything produced or any problems resulting with the embryo or/and baby is the “current owners" (receiving couple) responsibility not the “previous owner” (donating couple). Based on current law, the word and the procedure of adoption only refers to the placement of a child after birth. Also, instead of using adoption laws, legal agreements are used to govern the process of embryo donation. The receiving couple’s relationship with the child is just as binding as a legal adoption.

I share this in hopes that if you deem this helpful, our story can be shared with the many couples who are having a difficult time or have been finding/waiting with no success. If you have anyone that would like more information or would simply like to talk about the possibility of an embryo adoption/transfer, please feel free to share our information. As I stated before, we still believe in adoption and know that there are many children out there waiting for a home internationally and through foster care. We also know that every day there are LDS and non-LDS women who get pregnant and are considering adoption. With that said, over the last three years of being the chairman of FSA in VA, we have not been able to see the fruits of adoption bless the lives of the couples in VA. So we are trying to help others know and understand that there are more options (if they are able to carry) that allow them to carry, give birth, breast feed, and keep their baby. If embryos are existing babies, and we believe they are, this is yet another way the Lord has found to give them life.

Barton and Tracy Jeffs
Virginia Chapter
FSA Chairman
H: 703-372-2132
C: 703-344-3360/61


Feel free to contact Tracy and Barton. I have more detailed pricing and other information from the NEDC and Snowflake. If you would like me to send you more information, email me at whereisholly@gmail.com.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Letter from CongressmanYoung of Alaska re:Making Adoption Affordable Act.

Check out the letter one of our AWESOME Alaska Members received when she contacted her Congressman regarding the Making Adoption Affordable Act.  Please take the time to contact your Representative from Congress ASAP and share with us your experience. 

Find your Representative
If you know your Representative, simply call the Capitol hotline at 202-224-3121!!

Dear Mrs. Passmore,

Thank you for contacting me regarding H.R. 4373, the Making Adoption Affordable Act.  I appreciate you taking the time to share your concerns with me.
On April 17, 2012, Representative Bruce Braley (D-IA) introduced H.R. 4373 to make permanent certain tax credits for adoption expenses.  This legislation, as the title suggests, attempts to encourage adoptions by attempting to offset the growing costs associated with such an undertaking.  A 2010 study holds that foster care costs the taxpayers around $47,000 per child, per year.
Under current tax law, individuals who qualify may receive a tax credit of $12,360 for adopting an eligible child.  This legislation would increase that amount to $13,360 and would make it permanent.  Originally, the credit was in the amount of $10,000, which was established following passage of H.R. 4853, the Tax Relief, Unemployment Insurance Reauthorization and Job Creation Act of 2010.  This tax credit is intended to help offset the cost for parents who choose to adopt children.
Opponents of the bill claim that it only serves to further complicate the existing complex tax code.  It is also argued that the previous tax credit was more than a sufficient incentive for parents to adopt.  They believe that the increased tax credit does little to improve the quality of life of adopted children, and only increases the cost burden on the taxpayer.
Supporters of this legislation argue that making adoption a more financially viable option for parents will help improve the quality of life for adopted children and boost the number of children being adopted overall.  It could also convince parents that adoption is a feasible option when they would otherwise choose not to adopt.  As a proud grandfather of adopted children, I have a deep personal appreciation and understanding of the adoption process and the joy that comes from a successful adoption.  Adoption is something that is very special to me and I would strongly encourage willing and interested Americans to adopt.
H.R. 4373 was referred to the House Ways and Means Committee on April 17, 2012, where it awaits further action.  Should this legislation reach the House floor for a vote, I will certainly keep your thoughts in mind.

Once again, thank you for expressing your views on this issue.  If you haven't already, I would encourage you to sign up for my e-newsletter at http://donyoung.house.gov/Forms/EmailSignup/ and my YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=RepDonYoung.   Doing so will allow me to provide you with updates on this and other important issues.  If I can be of any assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,
DON YOUNG
Congressman for All Alaska

Sunday, September 23, 2012

FSA Temple Night - Sat. 10/13 at 7pm



Just a little reminder that we are hoping to see you at the Seattle Temple on Saturday, October 13th at 7pm.  For more info, see this blog post:http://fsawa.blogspot.com/2012/09/fsa-temple-night-sat-october-13th-at-7pm.html.

HELP - How do I fix the feed on this blog??

Hi Adoption Peeps and Readers! -- HELP!!!! I've been trying to fix the blog roll so that it is a continuous feed and does not just show one month at a time.  Does anyone know how to fix this??  BTW - If anyone else is interested being a blog writer (or even just a helpful editor), you can see I am at times quite blog challenged!  Please comment here or email me via FSA at FamiliesSupportingAdoption@gmail.com!  Thanks! Larissa ;-)

Adoption Highlight - Get to Know Pat and Rebeka Murphy!

Our names are Pat and Rebekah Murphy.  We have been married 20 years and were blessed this past February with our miracle.  On Sunday, January 29th we heard from a woman at church about a special baby with a chromosomal disorder born in Germany.  The next day we contacted LDS Social Services to start the paperwork.  Honestly, we have lost count of people saying, "we know of a baby..." which always ends sadly for us.  So, we pushed forward with faith.

Three days later we started the mountain of paperwork and the beginning of our miraculous whirlwind adoption process.  Five days after starting our paperwork, we met the birth mother and paternal grandparents.  She and baby Freddie hopped on a medical military flight to Madigan Army Medical Center.  We visited for 3 hours.  On midnight, exactly 1 week after starting our paperwork, the birth mother said she had chosen us to adopt her special son.  We were over the moon with excitement.  Then exactly 2 weeks after starting our paperwork on February 8th, we picked up Freddie from Madigan and brought him home.  We had the birth mother and the paternal grandparents over for dinner that night.  On that day, our family expanded by one baby and a slew of new aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and friends.

We have a very open adoption.  We visit the paternal aunts monthly and the paternal grandparents every 3 months.  We visit with the birth parents about every other month.  We have had extended birth family fly in from out of town to have them over for dinner and of course to see Mr. Fred.  Because we plan on keeping a very open adoption with the birth family, we have decided to call the birth parents Freddie's God parents.  They are the parents that God sent him to first.

We have an overwhelming sense of gratitude to our Father in Heaven and know that he heard our prayers and prepared us for this extra special boy.  We are blindly walking forward in regards to Freddie's long term health, but we have faith that all will be as Heavenly Father wants it to be.  All we know is Freddie is one very special spirit.  We were sealed on Saturday, May 5th.  We can both honestly say, that on that day, it was a perfect day filled with love; pure love. - Pat and Rebeka

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Blessed by a Miracle - Regional FSA Conference in Portland, Oregon



FSA NW REGIONAL ADOPTION CONFERENCE 2012
(Oregon, Washington, Alaska, Idaho)
Blessed by a Miracle

Date - Saturday, November 10, 2012
                       
Location - Rock Creek LDS Chapel
               19180 NW West Union Rd.
                        Portland, OR 97229


Conference Schedule At A Glance
  9:30am   – 10:00am           Registration -  Mix N' Mingle- Pastries
10:00am   – 10:50am           Welcome
                                          Adoption Award
                                          President Lloyd Campbell (from the Portland Temple)                                            State of Adoption Address
11:00am  –  12:00pm           Adoption Panel
12:00       --    1:15pm          Lunch by Sweet Tomatoes Restaurant   
                                                Heart Gallery
                                                What is Families Supporting Adoption?
  1:15pm  –    2:15pm           Breakout Session 1
  2:15pm  –    3:15pm           Breakout Session 2
  3:15pm  –    4:30pm           Birth Family Panel
  4:30pm  --    5:00pm           Closing- Mix N' Mingle- Appetizers

                                               
Breakout Sessions
An Adoption Reunion
Adopting Through the State
Open Adoption
Adoption and Your Growing Child

Classes for Birth Parents
Communicating with the Adoptive Family
Documenting Your Adoption Story

***No Registration fee but must RSVP  to fsa-or@ldsfamilyservices.org.***

Business casual attire recommended for conference.
All participants will receive an Adoption Giveaway Bag.

PLEASE Advocate for the Adoption Tax Credit THIS WEEK

Please Help Save the Adoption Tax Credit
A Message from NACAC

If your U.S. Representative is a Republican or a member of the House Ways & Means Committee, it is especially important for you to ask them this week to sign on as a cosponsor of H.R. 4373. This bill—the Making Adoption Affordable Act—would make the adoption tax credit permanent and refundable.


This bill and this issue is bipartisan. Last week, the bill gained seven Democratic cosponsors, and we need to work together to keep this bill's bipartisan balance. And the Ways & Means Committee will help shape any tax reform taken up in the House so its members are critically important. Below is a list of members of the Ways & Means Committee (sorted by state) who have not yet signed on to H.R. 4373:
  • CA: Wally Herger, Devin Nunes, Xavier Becerra, & Mike Thompson
  • CT: John B. Larson
  • FL: Vern Buchanan
  • GA: Tom Price & John Lewis
  • IL: Peter J. Roskam & Aaron Schock
  • KS: Lynn Jenkins
  • KY: Geoff Davis
  • LA: Charles W. Boustany Jr.
  • MA Richard E. Neal
  • MI: Dave Camp (chair) & Sander Levin (ranking member)
  • MN: Erik Paulsen, MN
  • ND: Rick Berg
  • NE: Adrian Smith
  • NJ: Bill Pascrell Jr.
  • NV: Shelley Berkley
  • NY: Tom Reed & Joseph Crowley
  • OH: Pat Tiberi
  • OR: Earl Blumenauer
  • PA: Jim Gerlach
  • TN Diane Black
  • TX: Sam Johnson, Kenny Marchant, Lloyd Doggett, & Kevin Brady
  • WA: Dave Reichert
  • WI: Paul Ryan & Ron Kind
Please take a moment this week to urge your federal Representative to become a cosponsor of H.R. 4373. (Click here to view the current list of cosponors.)


Find your Representative
If you know your Representative, simply call the Capitol hotline at 202-224-3121.

Be sure to share the bipartisan Dear Colleague letter issued by Representatives Bruce Braley (D-IA) and Jo Ann Emerson (R-MO).

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Renton Office Adoption Education, Sat. 9/29, 10am

If you are a current adoptive applicant with LDS Family Services and need your adoption education hours, please plan to attend on Saturday, September 29th from 10 am - approximately 4pm at the Renton Office. Dress casually, bring some snacks and bring or plan to buy lunch nearby.  Those needing adoption education, who cannot attend this session, can purchase adoption education through Adoption Learning Partners. If you have questions, please contact your caseworker. 

Friday, September 7, 2012

More Details on Adoption Learning Partners



 
This adoption education will be required by LDSFS for ALL new adoptive applicants applying after October 1st regardless of if this is a second adoption. 

You are welcome to REGISTER NOW:
Total Approximate Total Cost Per Individual = $129
(Which is approximately $258 per couple).


Let’s Talk Adoption 2 credit hours
·         Understand why talking about adoption is important to you, your child and family.
·         Identify your personal barriers to discussing adoption.
·         Recognize how your child’s understanding of adoption changes as he grow.

Open Adoption 101  2 credit hours
·         Understand the different degrees of openness.
·         Become familiar with the process of creating an open adoption.
·         Make openness work for your family.
·         Learn to maintain connections with birth families.


The Journey of Attachment  2 credit hours
·         Learn to see attachment as a lifelong process.
·         Identify factors that affect attachment.
·         Recognize signs of attachment.
·         Apply strategies to encourage attachment.


Finding the Missing Pieces:  Grief and Loss  2 credit hours
·         Recognize the signs of grief in adopted children at different developmental stages.
·         Identify situations that may trigger grief responses.
·         Develop strategies for helping children grieve. 

 
Elective Courses – One (1) elective course is required by LDSFS. You can choose from the classes listed below or may attend a Webinar. (Please select one where a certificate is available).


Conspicuous Families (1.5 hours)
Tough Starts: Brain Development Matters (1 hour)
Discipline and the Adopted Child (2 hours)
Tough Starts: Treatment Matters (1 hour)
Creating an Adoption Profile (2 hours)
Tough Starts: Parenting Matters (2 hours)
Adopting the Older Child (2 hours)
Tough Starts: Family Matters (1 hour)