Looking for a good adoption related read?

Check out this suggested reading list by Adoptive Families.  They offer a large variety of information regarding adoption but I especially liked these pre-adoption suggested reads.

If you are interested in learning more about "taking about adoption" they have some great ideas here.  Overall, Adoptive Families has some helpful information and resources that are totally worth checking out!

The Story of the Heart Matters - Lifebooks for Adopted Children

I attended a GREAT Webinar online today that was offered by Bethany Christian Services.  I love learning about adoption from a variety of persepectices and I was super curious what this free seminar was going to be like.

I was very pleasantly surprised. The presenters were the anthers from the book "Before You Were Mine" Susan Tebos and Carissa Woodwyk.  In this book (and in the Webinar) they help "adoptive parents learn about their child's life prior to adoption and to create a lifebook from a faith perspective that will allow parents to share it with their child at an appropriate time. It walks the reader through not only how to create a lifebook, but why it matters in the life of the child."

I even learned that Bethany has an online store with a variety of items available including this book. I have not read the book, but I LOVE the idea of creating a lifebook for my son and have been wanting some ideas to get me started.  As a result, I found their presentation very helpful. 

Just to share one idea they offered in their presentation.... they suggested going online and looking up "character trait words." I found 2 great lists here and here, but there seem to be many.  Then start working on your child's lifebook by doing an exercise similar to a writing brainstorm where you write your child's birthmother's name on a piece of paper and begin adding traits that you consider applicable to her.  Beginning with "who she was",  "how I see her" and then "how God sees her".  Below is an image of part of my quick draft created during the webinar.  It was a fun idea and helped me think of new ways to teach my son about his birthmother even though we know very little about her. They report that they have several worksheets and ideas like this one in their book, "Before You Were Mine" so you may want to check it out in the Bethany Store.

Have you created a lifebook for your child?  What did you include and how has it been helpful in communicating with your child regarding their relinquishment, birth family and adoption story??

New Children's Book on LDS Adoption

Hi!
My name is Shari Guess and I am an LDS adoptive mom and author of the new book "Once Upon A Baby~A Tale of Adoption."

When I adopted my son Garrett in 2002, through LDS Family Services, I longed so badly for a book that I could read to my son that would be specific to the experience of being adopted within the church and the gaining of an eternal family. While there are more than a few great books on adoption in general, this specific book wasn’t out there. I had to write it!

The book is geared towards children ages 2-8 as a way to explain and bring comfort while providing answers to the life-long questions of who they are, why they’re here and where they’re going. The sense of always being loved as part of the adoptive family is conveyed throughout the story as the child is born a baby, sealed to his family in the Temple and goes on to live with them throughout eternity. Illustrations of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ watching over the child and the family, along with guiding the adoptive process occur regularly throughout.

Careful consideration was paid to not glorify or condone unwed pregnancy while still giving due respect and admiration to the biological parents who are illustrated and represented as a necessary and loving part of the child’s story and as ones who love the child in an extra-special way.

The LDS market is small and I can’t emphasis enough how important word-of-mouth will be in bringing this book to light.
This is where I need your help!

I hope that you might take some time to look over the website and Facebook page that I have put together – There are stories and dreams-come-true throughout!

It is my sincere desire that eventually this book will be on the shelf in every adoptive home with young children. I believe too, that it will make a great gift for birth parents and adoptive grandparents as well.

There are sample pages available on the website if you would like a sneak-peak of what the book and art will look like. 

Here are the links for more information:

www.OnceUponABabyBook.com   - The official website
www.Facebook.com/OnceUponABabyBook  - The Facebook page
The book is 8x10 softcover and retails for $10.95.
ISBN and publisher/contact information is located on the website.
You can reach me (The author) at this address (OnceUponABabyBook@gmail.com) and publisher Sonja Linsley/HigherGroundPress, LLC at: info@highergroundpress.com 

A New Adoption Book: Open Adoption, Open Heart

Open Adoption, Open Heart: An Adoptive Father's Inspiring Journey by Russell Elkins

This new book releases May 15th.  Has anyone heard about it?  It looks like it might be an interesting read.   (The Kindle version is only $4.99 and available now).  If anyone reads it, be sure to let us know what you think!

Here's a brief summary found on Amazon: The world of adoption has changed dramatically over the past twenty years. No longer do biological parents have to say goodbye to their child forever. They now have more options when deciding the type of adoption to pursue, such as open adoption. Open adoption creates the opportunity for a special relationship between the biological parents, the adoptive parents, and the child. Open Adoption, Open Heart is an inspiring and true story, which takes the reader deeper into the feelings and emotions experienced by adoptive parents. As you read this incredible story, you will experience the joys, difficulties, and amazing victories facing adoptive couples. Russell and his wife, Jammie, invite you to share in their inspiring and heart warming journey.

3 Ways You Can Be Better Prepared to Bring a Baby Home

1.  Attend the BRINGING BABY HOME one day Workshop offered through LDS Family Services and Families Supporting Adoption on Saturday, April 28th from 9am - 4pm in Covington, WA.  (See THIS POST for more details).

2.  Check out the website for BRINGING BABY HOME and attend one of the Workshops offered directly by Bringing Baby Home. They offer Workshops in Australia, Canada, and various States across the USA.  In Washington State, classes are currently offered in Bainbridge Island, Bellevue, Redmond, Seattle, Snohomish and Tukwila. 

3.  Read the book AND BABY MAKES THREE by John M. and Julie Schwatrz Gottman.

Here's a bit about the book: "...wonderfully practical and specific...Beyond just citing research studies and statistics, the Gottmans provide readers with self-tests and detailed exercises for examining and resolving particular issues within their own marriages... it will apply to all married readers,whether or not they are raising children."   -- Library Journal 


And Baby Makes Three shows you how to:

- maintain intimacy and romance
- replace a culture of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation
- prevent post-partum depression
- create a home that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health
- nurture cognitive and behavioral development for your baby

National FSA Conference in Utah recently anncounced the Saturday Keynote Speaker, Dr. Karyn Purvis

The National FSA Conference on Friday, August 12th and Saturday, August 13th in Utah just announced their Saturday Keynote Speaker Dr. Karyn Purvis.  She is well known in the adoption field and will be a great asset to the conference. It is always a very well done conference and worth making a trip to Utah for a visit.  Registration will be available soon so save the date and start planning your trip!

 Dr. Karyn Purvis earned her doctorate in developmental psychology, specializing in serving at-risk children, and she has spent the last ten years developing research-based interventions for those children. She is a former foster mother with a personal and professional calling to create a welcoming, loving environment for children who come from “hard places.” She serves as an expert witness in court cases of child abuse, testifies for state and national legislation, and speaks frequently to national and international groups. Recent trips have taken her to varied national groups from trainings for judges and CPS workers, to training international parents and professionals in England, Iceland, Scotland, Romania, Rwanda, and Ethiopia. She has eight grand children, two of which are adopted.

Dr. Purvis received her undergraduate degree at TCU and continued on to receive her masters and doctorate in Developmental Psychology from TCU as well. During her time at TCU, Dr. Purvis developed and directed (1999 – present) the Hope Connection, a research and intervention summer day camp for adopted children. She continued her work with this population as the director of the Adoption Project from 2003 -2006. Work from these projects has been featured in NBC Dateline, Fort Worth Weekly, Newsweek, Parents Magazine, and other popular parent magazines. She and her colleague, Dr. David Cross, write for scientific journals, parents magazines, and have co-authored a feature book for McGraw-Hill titled, The Connected Child: Bringing Hope and Healing to your Adoptive Family, which was released Spring 2007. Within six months of publication, The Connected Child earned rank as a best-seller in adoption books. She and her colleague, Dr. David Cross were recently honored with the Dallas business journal Heroes of Healthcare Award. Dr. Purvis was awarded the T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. Infant Mental Health Advocacy Award, a state-wide award for child advocacy. She was also awarded the title of Distinguished Fellow in Adoption and Child Development by the National Council for Adoption. Dr. Purvis was appointed Presiding Officer of the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services Committee on Licensing Standards by Governor Rick Perry.

Book Review: A Love Like No Other

A Love Like No Other
by Pamela Kruger (Editor), Jill Smolowe (Editor)

For those of us waiting, wishing, longing, there is something soothing and reassuring about hearing and reading the experiences of families whose wait is over. We long to hear that the miracle that we continually hope and pray for will come to pass. It strengthens our faith, reassures us that the Lord is listening, and lengthens our patience.

For those of you who have all ready welcomed miracle children into your families, you may enjoy rejoicing with others who understand the road you have traveled. You may also find comfort in the acknowledgment that despite the difficulty we go through in building a family through adoption, that road does not end with a placement and finalization. Nor is the continuing road always smooth and easily traversed. In addition to the usual ups and downs of parenting, those of us who are called to adoption will have an extra dimension to our family that we are responsible to help our children navigate. The authors of these essays share their children’s reaction to being adopted and how they, as parents, responded to those reactions.

A Love Like No Other: Stories from Adoptive Parents is a deep well of experiences that we can dip into when our own faith is diminished. It may serve well as a periodic “pick-you-up,” reading one essay at a time or you may read it as I did, obsessively over the course of two days, giving me a much needed infusion of hope and resolve.

Now, be forewarned, you may not only need a box of tissues, but you may also need an open mind. These essays are written by parents who adopted domestically and internationally, families who were joined by newborns and families who brought school age children and teens into their families, parents who honor their children’s native heritage and those who hardly acknowledge it. You may not agree with their decisions, with their philosophy, or even their way of life, but one thing is beyond discussion, these parent love their children with a fierce and binding love.

Each of us will react to each of these essays differently. We will each relate to the essayists in our own way. For me the experience of Amy Rackear in her essay “The Second Time Around” hit close to home and, although our situations are not entirely similar, her words and her story resonated with me, giving me the resolve to move forward during a difficult time in our own adoption journey.

The experiences recorded in this book are as diverse as the children we adopt. Somewhere within the pages of this book you are likely to find a family who has walked the road you are now facing, or has walked the road with you. Regardless, each of the stories will teach you something and increase your love for adoption.

Book Review - The Adoption Decision by Laura Christianson

The Adoption Decision - 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting
Laura Christianson

This book review will come with a disclaimer that this is the first adoption book I have read, so keep that in mind.

This is a Christian centered book. Christianson refers to it as a:

"how to for the heart"- a guide through the critical heart issues you'll encounter during the adoption process and after you bring home your child. (p. 10)

She starts out with a glossary of adoption terms, something I thought was a great idea, but would have liked to be more extensive.

The first chapter is a guide to communicating with the people around you (friends, family, obnoxious busy bodies) as you begin your adoption journey. She has some excellent suggestions on how to handle a variety of responses and questions that you are likely to field.

Next she deals with the emotions and reactions that both you and others will have once your child arrives home. This was one my my favorite chapters, as I find Chrsitanson's dry reactions to some astonishing comments about her children, very fitting.

I've been married to the same man for 25 years and I can attest that biologically unrelated people possess the capacity to bond.

The most valuable part of the book for me personally was chapter 4, A Labor of Love. I appreciated the Christianson's candor about the home study, about the personal questions you will be asked and expected to answer, and the emotions you will encounter as you qualify the special needs you may or may not be willing to accept in your child.

Other chapter's include dealing with the emotional aspects of infertility (and the insensitivity you may encounter,) a personal perspective on meeting birth parents, and overcoming the trauma of failed placements. She also covers international adoption, adopting children of a different ethnicity than your own, and gives a look into the lives and coping mechanisms of families whose children have severe developmental, emotional, or behavioral challenges.

Throughout the book Christianson gives examples of her topic from the Bible and reminds us of the continual support and love of our Father in Heaven. Some may find this aspect of the book distracting, but she effectively positions these portions of her book in such a way that, if desired, they can be skimmed over without missing any of the information in the chapter.

Again, this is the first adoption related book I have read, so my experience is very limited, however, I found this book useful, uplifting, and a welcome look into the more personal and emotional aspects of adoption that I have been concerned about.

Thank you Laura for a valuable book.